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tv   The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore  Comedy Central  June 17, 2015 11:31pm-12:02am PDT

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ossword puzzles. anyway that is our show here it is your moment of zen. >> (laughter) really? >> i'm sorry n spanish >> larry: tonightly the red cross is accused of blowing $500 million with little to show for it. otherwise known as the presidential campaign strategy of donald trump. [laughing] >> larry: nightly's own ricky velez visited the puerto rican parade on sunday. tonight we ask the question has anyone see ricky velez?
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it's thursday. and why don't we take women sports seriousiously? i would tell you about hope solo may kick my ass. and more on haiti. this is the "nightly show." captioning sponsored by comedy central [cheers and applause] >> larry: thank you, very much. man. >> audience: larry, larry! larry: what a great crowd tonight. happening night for the show. thank you, i'm larry wilmore. this is -- fun crowd, man. i know, i like that. i like that. you know we have a great show for you tonight too. we're spending time in the my ellenialmymillennial hang out area.
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first it's time for a new segment we're calling "just because it's sad doesn't mean you can pretend it's not happening." ♪ >> larry: guys, guys. i don't really feel like that music really matches the tone of the piece. a little too happy music. okay. alright. so anyhow this is when we tackle a story so sad most news outlet's ignore it tonight we're talking about haiti. frankly no one else will. sorry, sean penn, i was referring to everyone else. trying to take credit. haiti is still reeling from the earthquake that hit it five years ago. >> january 12th 2010. catastrophic earthquake ravaged haiti's capitol, puerto prince.
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leaving 1 point 1.5 million people homeless. >> larry: 1.5 million people or as donald trump calls them losers. after the earthquake the world sprung into action. >> the american red cross raised nearly $500 million for haiti. a year after they announced plans to create "brand new communities." >> larry: brand new communities, great. i can only imagine how $500 million to transform this into this especially at haiti prices. that's what i'm talking about. cool, man. five years. okay. well, haiti has to be brimming with homes by now, right. >> the report says half a billion dollars in donations after the quake were miss spent. a promise to provide permanent housing was reported in six
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homes being built. >> larry: six! six homes? with half a billion dollars. good lord that's -- that's $83.3 million per home. that's almost as bad as manhattan real estate. good lord haiti if you're blowing $500 million at least bribe fifa for the 2026 world cup. that would have made sense. i know what you're thinking, larry, the fact that we can't trust the red cross is a sad story. you're right. is it sad enough for the title "just because it's sad doesn't mean you can pretend it's not happening"" >> larry: guys that's inappropriate, thank you. here is something else i would love to pretend isn't happening in haiti. >> in haiti where the uns had
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a please keeping mission for more than a decade. the soldiers had transactional sex with more than 200 women. >> larry: transaction al sex. these un scold years are getting hookers when they're suppose to do relief work. disgusting. the reality is more disgusting. >> investigators talked to hundreds of women in haiti and liberia saying they had transactual sex for basic needs of food, medicine. >> larry: transactual sex. when people have nothing else to barter with but their bodies. the fact it's by people who are suppose to keep peace it's worst. it's like a care bear on a murder spree. murder sprees are bad. care bear murder sprees sprees are
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much worst. i can't believe this, guys. that's why i take incredulate. sorry. for when you simply can't believe it and it's completely true and you can't believe it. ahh, guess what the un has to say about this. they prohibit bartering for sex and strongly discourages sexual relationships. ooh, discourages. the best the un can do is a side eye emoji. that's all we got, sorry. because guess why? >> long mission experience stated there was a general view people should have romantic rights. >> larry: guys, you're there to
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keep the peace not get a peace. seriously. you want to get rid of the pent up sexual energy go build some [beep] homes. [cheers and applause] >> larry: sorry. i needed a lot there. okay. oh god. last thing about this. now if this is not sad enough for you. >> larry: stop it, stop it. if you think it sucks to be a haitian in this earthquake. it sucks to be a haitian right now. say you got out of the third world hell of haiti and crossed to the two a third quarter world tell the dominican republic for a slightly better life. guess what the dr is up to now. >> hundreds of thousands of haitians in the dominican republic are rounded up in so caldwell come centers and
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deported. >> larry: yes sent back to haiti where six beautiful houses are waiting for your arrival. i love they call these makeshift internment camps "welcome centers." they're the opposite of welcome. it's like calling water boarding, giggle splashing. or calling spirit airlines, spirit air hraoepbz instead of break your spirit airlines which is what it is. okay, look why are we bringing it up? it's simple. haiti is our neighbor. less than a thousand miles from florida. i wish we could forget about florida the way we forget about haiti. florida, i'm kidding, but it's true. it's sad to me that the only person we can rely on ton forget is sean penn who built housing for 450 families in the same time it took the red cross to build six. that is sad.
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i will give sean penn his props. alright. so, thank you. [ applause ] >> larry: yes. agree. alright. now play the happy music. >> larry: we will be right back. [cheers and applause]
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[cheers and applause] >> larry: welcome back. so when you want to search for your roots some go to here in new york city any given sunday your roots may come marching to you. i'm here with our own ricky
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velez. welcome to the show. what's up. this is cool, ricky you experienced that first hand. >> yes the puerto rican day parade. great, thanks for making me work on a sunday. that's always fun. >> larry: i thought you would have fun it's a parade. >> whatever roll the piece, dude. ♪ >> it's hot. it's gross. there are way too many people here. got to be honest i don't understand these parades. i'm half puerto rican. what's the deal? (babies crying) >> why is a parade so important to your culture? >> ya that's right. >> i hope you know spanish, layery . it's hot. >> you're wearing way too many flags for the temperature. why do you think a parade is important to a culture? >> it brings the people
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together. >> everyone or just puerto rican. >> there are all different nationals here. >> black white, chinese. >> i have not seen a chinese person. not one. >> right now. >> that's a mexican. >> do you like parades? >> you like parades? >> i love them. i do. >> what do you like standing on the side of the street with everything cut off and miserable? >> i do. >> you see all of the floats, people, the politicians famous people, a lot of nice people. >> i'm sorry what am i missing? what do you think about the puerto rican day parade? [laughing] >> you think it's -- it did nothing for me. >> today is the puerto rican day parade. i'm living my heritage. let me bless you. get out of here. >> oh.
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>> there was something about getting that puerto rican charm that opened me up to the charms of puerto rico. that and i started to pound puerto rican rum. seriously i thought it was the charms. >> i need the snake. >> a big snake at that. >> i could feel my puerto rican blood boil. i wasn't going to fight it anymore. it was time to be puerto rican. ♪ [ applause ] >> you know even a chicken eating chihuahua in a cape made sense. >> i love puerto rico. larry: hey. [ applause ] >> larry: wow. it looks like you had a great time. >> ya, sure.
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a so many, right. >> larry: what's wrong, you embraced your culture right. >> maybe a little too much. larry: the day drinking. probably woke up sun burned -- >> no, larry. this. >> larry: my god is that? >> rosy perez. larry: you did embrace your puerto rican side. very nice. we will be right back.
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i'll be right back. hm. she's got x1. alright. huh, hm, ohh... monster? she seemed so nice at dinner. i'm back! ahh! uhh, hi... heyyy, whatcha doing? ohh, just... watchin' law & order. unless you want to watch something else. awww, you're nervous. that's so cute. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> larry: welcome back. we're in our cool millennial hang for cool peers chilaxing together. i'm here with my nightly show
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writer holly walker here. author of the new book that made all three new york best time seller lifts, ali wentworth. also -- and of course we have tim a sleep in the back. what's up, tim. [ applause ] >> larry: okay. alright. last time we were here this was so much fun. we said the hang was sponsored by axe body spray. this is true, they sent us these products. tonight's hang is sponsored by something else we love. ps4. [laughing] >> larry: ps4 for when you haunt you want to hang like a millennium. and johnny walker blue when you don't. might at well. [ applause ] >> larry: alright. so, i'm going to talk about
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women sports. last night u.s. women beat nigeria and moved on in the world cup. you see that. awesome. 5 million people watched. 23 million people watched the nba finals. myself included. men compared to women there is little coverage. here is the chart of all sports coverage for sports center, womens sports at the bottom. i'm lighting a bomb for you jamil. is women sports exciting as men sports? be honest. >> yes, i will say they are. >> that's not true. >> here is why it's true. look i mean the womens world cup. take that for the start. you can literally see the sexism on the field. i don't mean in terms of the players but the article official surf. >> larry: artificial surf is sexist. >> you're more likely to be
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injured. >> larry: men play on artificial turf? >> mens world cup are on natural gas. women previous yao world cups are on natural grass. (doorbell). >> larry: who dat? come on in. >> larry. arry: it's my neighbor hollywood heartthrob. pull up a chair. we have a chair for you. oh, the ladies want you. there. >> yes come sit down. larry: man. >> i was coming to get my clippers back. [laughing] >> a party. larry: a party. >> it's a small cab. larry: we have pizza on the way. alright. >> this is a woman womens sport right here. >> larry: i knew this would happen. >> here talking about women
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sports. >> larry: are womens sports exciting as men or more exciting exciting? >> really? larry: you don't think so? >> if holly and i were toless in a big jello mold would you excited? >> of course. >> that's your answer. larry: that's lust. i think each sport is different, right. >> i agree. larry: i think track and field no difference. men and women track and field. >> i agree. >> i agree. larry: womens tennis more exciting then mens. >> yes. it would be interesting to see caitlyn jenner run track. see if that's as exciting as when bruce -- >> larry: that's interesting. >> a great golfer. she hits the ball 300 yards. >> larry: we don't know how excited to be. >> no we're figuring it as a society. it would be transcendent. >> i think you're hitting the
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nail on the head. >> that's right. >> it's about entertainment value. >> larry: entertainment value. >> it depends on the sport. if you look at tennis serena williams has changed the game. >> larry: she has, right. >> i know it's difficult to talk right now. i'm just staring at this at this man here. >> are thaoerz -- >> they're funions. >> i didn't have one yet. i haven't had -- i haven't had any -- >> it's alright. that's okay. >> let me tell you something. this is what i have to6 some men sports are more excited. i would rather watch men play basketball then women. >> larry: the athleticism? >> men are in a primal way more violent and exciting. >> larry: you like the violence. >> hold on a second. >> do you watch men figure skate? >> yes, yes. >> that's violent.
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>> it can be. >> figure skating is violent. larry: when they lose. >> the only sport i watch religiously is rupaul's drag race. >> larry: what is that. >> it starts as a man's sport and ends as a womens sport. it's the best of both words. you have not watched it. >> larry: i haven't seen it. >> no. they were filming an office pool bracket in my office. >> larry: it's cool women -- rhonda rousey. >> yes. larry: that's tough. that's toughness. that's changing the game in terms of, you know when we talk about athleticism. you like that? >> ya, the best stories sometimes are the women. serena williams is the u.s. most dominant athlete period. sorry lebron. >> she transcends tennis,
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transcends the sport. >> exactly. >> she has moved on. way past tennis. >> and rhonda rousey the most dominant. she knocks women out in 19 seconds. the arm bar is on and it's over. >> larry: if we all agree women sports are exciting. most women sports to most people are exciting. why isn't it covered more. is it a conspiracy theory. >> media doesn't know how to tell the story right. >> larry: really. >> if they knew how to do it right and understood how many people want to heart stories of inspirational women in sports there would be more than 2% on sports center. there would be more attention to the womens world cup and more attention paid to the wonderful athletes here that are really paving the way for another generation. >> i think the popularity of a sport depends on pop culture. >> larry: huh-uh. >> pop culture is expressed
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through social media. >> larry: right. >> social media works in increments in 150 15 seconds. it's tough to sell a story in 15 seconds and capture the emotion. >> larry: i wonder if scandal will make a difference in sports. there are female athletes with domestic a pews and things going on. that will put it over the top. >> you didn't know who tanya haring was until she smacked the knee caps off that sweet, sweet girl. >> larry: the sweet, sweet girl. women sports more scandal, bashed knee caps, [beep] like that. >> ya. larry: we will be right back. >> if you're in new york city come see the show. go to the for tickets.
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by. the new daytime talk show premieres july 6th on fox. don't miss it good nightly everyone. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> oops, s >> chris: it's 11:59 and 59 seconds. this happened on today! the golden state warriors beat the cleveland lebron jameses for


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